Ignoring Social Media for a Bit, and Being in the Moment

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You can look for any dating coach or love coach in the world to help you get rid of bad habits, but the reality of the matter is that you control your actions, not anyone else.  One of the hardest things a relationship coach gets exposed to is showing someone how to change the way they live to be more in the moment, less in their head, and less on their phones/social media!

For all the good that has come into the world with the spread of social media, there has also been quite a bit of damage. In fact, media sites worldwide started spreading statistics ranging from 20-33% after a UK study in 2009 found Facebook as a responsible tool in the destruction of 1 in 5 marriages as based through a study of divorce filings. In 2011, the number was revised to 1 in 3. Now, the reality of the matter is that people cheat and act inappropriately, not inanimate websites. However, with MySpace first, followed by Facebook and Twitter, people now have the option to flirt ‘harmlessly,’ as they like to think of it, with former flames and new ‘friends’ alike in manners which feel ‘safe,’ as they’re being done virtually, without physical touch. However, these words live on and are stored indefinitely on the web, and often cause much unnecessary destruction of relationships as they’re inevitably discovered/circulated, and what you thought was just innocent flirtation ends up cementing the loss of your bond with your loved one.

Flirting with others online is a sign of underlying problems in a relationship, problems that need to be addressed and not avoided by focusing energies on that hot ex from a few years back whose latest update proclaims that she’s single and now loving it. Even if one isn’t necessarily acting inappropriately with others online, but is just spending too much time online, it will erode the closeness in a relationship which needs to be strengthened with time by engaging with each other, physically, mentally, verbally, emotionally. We have turned into a society obsessed with checking status updates on our smartphones, as we can’t even wait to do so on a computer. Stop it. No one is that important. The next time you’re on an elevator or in a restaurant waiting for someone, be in the moment, take in the surrounding, let your mind rest. Don’t pull your phone out, just because of bad habits, looking at meaningless texts you’ve already read and status updates that don’t really change your life. Build a life with someone by really being with them.  Successful relationship habit tip – be present.  

Good luck to all of you

Dylan Thrasher
Dating, Relationship, Marriage Coach
Not just a life or love coach
The ‘I want you to have LASTING LOVE coach’

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